


Together

by Fighter1Day



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Character Study, Hurt/Comfort, It isn’t explicitly stated, M/M, Miscarriage, Trans Male Character, Trans Stuart "2D" Pot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 20:29:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13197972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fighter1Day/pseuds/Fighter1Day
Summary: A character study, a vent piece really, focused on Murdoc as he tries to process trauma that nobody can be blamed for. Being there for another when he himself needs comfort.





	Together

**Author's Note:**

> Miscarriage isn’t explicitly stated, but heavily suggested.  
> I write this, and everything else, as a way to process my own trauma and to explore Murdoc’s character in a way I only get to do with a close friend.  
> Further explanation is written in the end note.

Murdoc held him against his chest, safe in the arms that had ripped him apart. His lips pulling into a bitter grimace as he stroked his hand down his sides, past the ribs he’d cracked, down to hips that had nearly pierced his skin when he’d denied him food, water, his meds. He looked away, nearly pulled away, ashamed of the damage he’d done, the body he’d nearly destroyed, the mind he’d rendered near useless, helpless.

This had been a mistake, if his tears weren’t evidence enough. His cheeks stained pink from the effort of his sobs, the way he’d screamed and choked on his own sobs. His eyes shut, hidden against his chest, tired from the expression of his pain. Lids swollen from being rubbed, a lazy fist raised to irritate them more as he tried to dry his eyes.

His hand as red as his face, warmed from the bath they laid in. The water hot, steaming before they’d stepped in, both men hissing at the sting when they realised how hot they’d let the water become. His body painted red the further he slipped into the water, no longer that smooth barely blue but almost a yellow, not quite a brown and not quite a green. It made him uncomfortable, laying there, holding him in something so vile. Holding him in his own blood, blood he’d spilt again.

It was his fault. It always was, someway. He’d figure it out, sitting beside the other at the family therapist that Noodle and Russ had wanted them all to see. They’d have to talk about it, about his foolish attempt to appease the man he’d destroyed. How he’d played into this fantasy, this dream he’d had, he’d whispered in his ear when they were the only ones up. In the intimacy of their studio between the witching hour and dawn, he’d caved and tried to silence that conscious, sober part of himself that reminded him of every injury and curse he’d left in his wake.

Drawn out of his thoughts by a soft hum, his eyes darted down to man pressing himself closer to his chest. “‘S not your fault Mudz,” his voice cracking, hushed as he slowly peeled himself away from him.

“Was I talking out-” He nodded before he could finish, soft blue hairs tickling his nose. He leaned back in to rest his chin against his shoulder. “Stu...”

He shook his head, “You don’t need to blame yourself, neither of us do.” His hand sinking away from his chest, careful to apply pressure to his abdomen, low, where the pain was the worst.

Clawed fingers were quick to follow, to stroke along the back of his hand, his fingers, and down to his belly. Fingertips cautious as they traced patterns into the skin. His body stiff beneath 2D’s, his eyes constantly sweeping his figure watching him for discomfort. His touch gentle, trying to soothe him, to comfort him, to be there for him, with him in what felt the worst moment of their lives.

“Murdoc?” He whispered, a whine against his neck.

His hand stilled, pulling away, fingers curling in and closing in a weak fist. His eyes wides as he looked down to the other, voice hushed, “did I hurt you?”

Stuart laughed through his nose, sitting up as he looked to him. He reached to him, taking his hand and guiding it back to his stomach, nearly flat save the barely there swell of fat accumulating since he’d begun to eat more regularly. He smiled softly, a murmur of promise, “you didn’t hurt me.” He bit back tears, “don’t pull away from me now.

“I know that you’re upset, but we’ve come so far. You haven’t hurt me, this wasn’t any bodies fault. Stop listening to whatever you are hearing that’s telling you that.” He brought a hand to his eyes, wiping away tears that had begun to drip down his cheeks. “I need you now, _right_ now.”

Murdoc wrapped him in his arms, sitting up with him, holding him close to him, feeling the quake of his chest as he began to cry again. Tears coming to his own eyes as he leaned forward, Stuart’s legs shaking as he wrapped them around his waist, letting the man bend him back, cradling him close to his center. He let them fall, silent as he cried against the taller man, arms tight around him, not caring if he squeezed him too hard, needing to ground himself, the both of them.

He whimpered, nuzzling into his chest, trying to hide his own fears in his attempts to comfort the other. His breath catching when hands slid up from his back, combing through his hair. Heart racing at the feel of cracked lips against his forehead, across his brow.

Leaning back just enough when hands cupped his jaw, kissing him gently. Tears rolling down both their cheeks as they kissed, desperate little whimpers as they clung to one another. Soft kisses as he held him tighter to him, never wanting to let him go. He whimpered, listening to 2D’s hushed whines as he rested against his back on the cold ceramic edge of the tub.

“Don’t let go, Murdoc,” he whispered, holding his head so they could lock eyes, “please, not now

**Author's Note:**

> I understand this is a controversial idea and have been scolded previously for writing about trans men choosing to carry pregnancies. I am trans and I hate that I the community abroad expects me to either disregard my identity or to embrace my autonomy and choice to have children. I will not accept attempts to brush other trans fathers under the rug.


End file.
